Wednesday, February 15, 2012


This evening, as I was on my way back to the computer after putting dinner into the oven, I noticed a suspicious item laying in the half dark on the floor of my living room.

From the half dark-ness, it looked like either a. a giant wad of poop (in which I have nothing in my house that could poop this large...that I know of.) or b. something really moldy and old. Either way, it was slightly freaking me out. I swear to you guys it was not there earlier this evening. I would not have missed a giant lump of whatever it was on my living room floor.

Bending over nervously, I first do a smell test (at like, 3 feet distance). Does anyone else do this? Because I, for one, am seriously not putting my hand on something that smells. I'll get a glove or a gigantic wad of paper towels first. I don't care that everything eventually washes off my skin, it will NOT come into contact with me.

But alas, back to my sniffing, the object had no smell. At least, none that I could tell. This ruled out poop and vomit, at least.

Tentatively I reach my hand out and touch said item. And can you possibly even guess what it was?

A FREAKIN POTATO! A chewed up, hairy, blackened potato (not all of it is blackened).

And sitting not too far from this gross object sits both my cats. Just staring at me as innocently as can be.

Alas, I present you exhibit A. The evidence.

Pretty gross, right?

I look over at both cats and they both just stare at me, as if daring to ask them who took the potato and had their way with it. Someone obviously went through the trouble to find this potato and drag it across the house to play with it.

But, who could it be?

Could it be the perpetually, always innocent cat who has never shredded anything in his life or even climbed up anything besides his cat house (and my bed)?

Or could it be the kitten who has a string of priors (seriously, I watch way too much law shows) including: toilet paper shredding, peeing on dog beds and occasionally various pieces of clothing, and clawing the door frames in the house?

Not to mention this incriminating piece of evidence from approximately six months ago.

Who do you think did it? I think the evidence is pretty well stacked, don't you?

1 comment:

  1. Um, yeah. I'm guessing it's the first one. He looks too innocent!! :) I'm sure the second was framed...

    (Oh, and by the way, ewwwww.)


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